I noticed today that I avoid eye contact no a days A LOT! Like if someone talks to me I just look past them or if I'm siting down in band and David or Michaela is talking to me I don't even look at them I just look straight ahead and talk. I guess I'm getting worse. I only look at certain people in the eyes. And sometimes even then I don't look at them at times. Not even to teachers. Just maybe Mrs. Naumann and Mr. Wright., And Mr. Moore today and Mr. Stocking. And that's prolly it besides Ms. Martin. I mean I don't to it all the time to teachers just sometimes. But...now i don't even like have physical contact with certain people and sometimes not at all. And the only time that I prolly mean it when I smile is when I'm ACUTALLY laughing. Other then that it's all fake. I know I've concerned some people. Rico, Rin. guys. And I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you guys, I guess..I have the answer to that questions/ poem lines Olivia wrote in my yearbook last year now. I don't know what to do.

And did I mention my other problem? Well..I'm even lucky if I feel something other then an empty feeling, besides worry, anxiety, depression, parinoia, and so on. I mean like a happy feeling. I felt it the other day in 7th block thanks to a certain someone. I just kept telling myself "FEEL SOMETHING ALREADY!! FEEL!" AND THEN BAM! I felt this little pang of feeling. And it was nice. So I thank you. Oh yeah...I've been pretty agresive lately...that could be a problem...

But in other news RANGER STEVE TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL! YEAH! I've been waiting for, forever to re-join Ranger steve. And Jess is gonna stay after too so it's gonna be fun cuz Jessica + me + ranger steve = piggy back ride. yey! You still owe me from that one time. So neh!