I should just done this a long time ago. I don't see why the fuck I give a flying fuck about you. I'm sorry Rin, Rico. Guys...I can't do this...I just fucking can't. So if I'm bleeding...don't be surprised...if i'm not don't be surprised if I do it later. I need that fucking pain. I need something to sting. No fist fight, no verbal fight...nothing's gonna stop me especially NOT YOU. I could care less about you now. So WHAT if I live in the past? So what if I just can't move on? It that my fault? NO so deal with it. You don't wanna hear me complain then don't fucking read this shit. And YOU why don't you just go crawl back to her, un?! No give me some shit like "But I care about you...I really do." or some crap like that. I've had enough of you. That's why I stayed away from you. Why didn't talk, it was different. I was better off without you. So leave me alone don't make an effort to talk to me or some shit like that. Because all YOU do if bring me pain, and you just make me want to slit my throat. I KNOW you don't read this...and that's fine talking indirectly...who gives a fuck. Just leave me alone. And Rin, Rico..I know you guys care a lot. And I know your always worried about me. But don't okay? At the most I'll run as fast as I can on the track tomorrow and have an asthma attack. But please don't stress about me, you two. Don't try and find solutions. Just leave it be. I'll heal by myself. I wanna be....i don't know...I just don't want to be alive. I don't want to be around her. I don't need or want to talk to her. I just want to be left alone to sulk. If I bleed, I bleed. If I die I die. No big deal to me. I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry, I just can't stand any of this anymore.